Unpleasant feelings, the root of disconnect
As you navigate through life, with its different stages and eventualities, its contrasting experiences and personalities, you encounter unpleasant situations or unsavoury interactions which appear to drain your energy, to take a little something out of the spring in your step in life.
Something someone said or did which at the time you were vulnerable to, a plan that didn’t eventuate as you had thought it would, a sudden or unexpected loss that left you blindsided and questioning why. Any one of these can cause you to, perhaps without even realising, put on a mask; a defence mechanism that distorts your natural personality in order to avoid getting hurt or receiving pain form people or situations you feel vulnerable to. In essence, a negative feeling arises inside you and is felt as a tangible, vibrational presence within, even if fleetingly, and the instinctive reaction is to categorise this sensation as something to avoid in the future.
Initial strength to eventual weakness
When first faced with trauma or repeated setbacks, putting on a brave face or ‘getting on with the job’ does initially help to survive and keep moving on with life. However if the initial reactions related to the trigger are not fully & correctly processed and resolved by you, then the foundation on which you will build the remainder of your life can easily be undermined. What appears on the surface to be a healthy response mechanism slowly creates a rift and a rot within your core that over time spreads and begins to colour all areas of your life.
Conflict at work can flow on into how you behave with loved ones at home. Unresolved pain caused by loved ones in the past can drive you to restrict the happiness & freedom you allow yourself to experience with your friends and family in the present. Hurt from the past can make you become closed hearted and hard headed in your interactions with people you come across in new situations or scenarios.
In effect, you end up carrying around unresolved feelings which create baggage that begins to drag down on you in more than one area of your life. The need to avoid dealing with these unresolved feelings, seen as too painful and overwhelming to confront or difficult to overcome, creates a subtle but ever present distortion in your thought process moving forward. You move from thinking clearly in life and processing objectively to being unduly affected by your fears and dislikes, leading to a subjective, biased and distorted filter on life.
Becoming the victim
Comments or judgements that might have been made on you, or ones you have made on yourself, labels you have attached to yourself due to past shortcomings, emotional wounds that have not been addressed and continue to fester away; all of these scar your thought process and affect your ability to think clearly and live joyfully.
Not only do feelings impact your ability to think, but coloured thinking stops you from facing up to underlying fears, perpetuating a cycle of reactionary behaviour which adds on to the weight being carried as time goes by. This distorted thinking leads you to react unnaturally to anything your psyche might perceive as a threat, creating a victim mentality that can eventually drain you of your power and ability to live freely and happily.
Repeated reactionary cycles can go on to eventually begin shaping the very experiences you call to yourself in life, as you begin to attract similar personalities and situations to those that caused your initial wound into your life in more arenas. The same story begins to repeat in life, as you draw the same challenge to yourself regardless of where you might try and run or hide.
You might have allowed yourself to become cynical because of broken promises in the past, attracting even more unreliable people into your present circumstances. You might have closed your heart because of anger or pain from the past, which actually results in calling to you more people and situations that will disappoint again. Moving cities or changing jobs, breaking old relationships & beginning new ones, all of these will fail to bring you the fresh start you yearn so long as the underlying disconnect continues to go unaddressed.
The wake up call
This is life sending a clear signal that change is required at some level to move beyond the past and reset into a more natural state. Life is calling on you to grow into a new, stronger and more authentic person who is no longer controlled by labels, actions or attitudes that belong in the past. A person who does not need to hide from inner conflicts or external confrontations any longer, a person who will not live life as a victim any more.
What might appear as a daunting if not impossible task at first: addressing what appear to be very concrete burdens that you are carrying within you, becomes easier and sometimes even enjoyable once you begin to apply a greater understanding to your challenge. A mistake that is often made is to focus on the external (the person, the place, the time or event etc.) instead of shifting the focus onto your own inner self. This seemingly simple but actually very powerful change in perspective, when executed with correct guidance, allows you to look within and begin working with what is closest and most important to you in your life, your own personality.
Looking within begins the process of taking back the power you have given to external circumstances and people, while bringing the awareness that the scars you are carrying exist solely within and not with an outside power. You always exercise the choice, consciously or unconsciously, to give these wounds control or power over you. The shift from victim mode to empowerment allows you to confront and overcome negative feelings and emotions by taking charge of your psyche and consciously choosing what you allow yourself to give your attention to.
At Synergy Healing, I can help you initiate this process of discovery and empowerment in your own life. If you feel you are facing blocks that are either hard to define or daunting to confront, or if you are ready to look within and begin to mould the person you would like to become and live a more vibrant and fulfilling life, then contact me to discuss or to book a session.